He picked up his last suitcase with a sigh.
"Felix, what's wrong?"
He looked up at the smaller female and gave her a reassuring smile.
"Felix, I want you to feel happy about this," she said, offering the Swede a small smile. She wasn't all that happy, either. The sudden call to come home after she had shown him those tickets... This was suppose to be a thing they were doing together, but that last minute call ruined it.
Felix and Marzia were going on a trip to France, to get away and just be with each other, but then Marzia's parents had called, calling her home on a family crisis. Of course, the Swede wanted to go with her, to be with her through it all, whatever all was, but Marzia insisted for him to go, that he needed a break more than she did. They argued over it until he gave up, letting her win. Though he hated to watch her go...
He was a little relieved.
Maybe what they need more than a get away break was a break from each other. They were with each other almost every hour of the day. What if they got sick of each other's attention? What if they slowly drifted apart because of their constant being together?
Plus, he needed to go to Florida. All week, Cry had not been online. He hadn't sent any more messages. He hadn't posted any more videos. He hadn't posted anything on Tumblr or DeviantART. He had been absent for a whole week. Not even on his Saturday night livestreams was he on. His fans thought he had gotten sick again. Could that be the case? He didn't know, but it worried him.
The last message he sent to him kept hitting the walls of his mind.
"Did you ever have a secret that you couldn't tell anyone?"
Yes, of course he did. He couldn't say he had many, but he did have more than just three. They were minour, but by what Felix vaguely could remember of his chat that day, something seemed off about him. As if his secret was more darker than his... As if it would cost his life...
Nahh. He was just over thinking it.
"Call me the second you land, okay?" Marzia said softly as she kissed his cheek. He chuckled and hugged her, promising her that one wish.
"Same applies to you, you know. Tell your parents I said hi," he said as he let her go and picked his bags up again. The warning call of his flight leaving sounded, and he gave the other one last look. She smiled and waved as he hurried to catch his flight, but she turned away quickly as tears started to flood her eyes. She swiftly wiped them away, saying it would be alright. Saying the time apart wouldn't affect them at all. As she walked away to receive her own ticket back to Italy, she pulled out her phone, dialing her mother. She need to speak to her.
Felix only looked back once, to see her walking away with her back turned. He didn't dare shed a tear in a public place. On a Youtube video, that was different. But in a airport? No. Nope. Never. Okay, maybe, but not today. No.
...Okay, yes, perhaps, but only one tear. Just one. That was all...
"Sir, are you okay?" the flight attendant asked once he was aboard, sitting with his laptop closed in his lap.
...Apparently, one was just not enough.
He tried to think up a clever excuse, but nothing came to mind. He just turned his head to the window, watching the world pass below him and waving it off like it was nothing. The sound of something shuffling behind him made his head turn slightly to see what it was. Curiosity, of course. The flight attendant had pulled out his table and set out a lone cup of steaming tea on it. Felix looked up at him, and he just stared back.
"It's on me," he said simply before pushing his cart away, attending to another passenger.
Felix stared down the aisle at the male attendant. Short brown hair, vibrant green eyes, a fair complexion, he seemed to be his ideal of Cry. Except, his voice.
"It's on me."
It didn't sound the same as that voice he knew... It was much more... younger. It lacked the thick masculine tone Cry used.
No, this man still held the frailness of a teenager in his voice.
He wasn't sure on what to do anymore. He hadn't slept in days. It had gotten worse. Usually, it was every other night. Before that, it was a night a month. Now...
It came back and haunted him every night, creeping up and attacking him in the middle of the day even. It was horrible. It frightened him. It made him want to scream and throw the nearest thing. So he hid. Hid from the world. It wasn't like that, at first. He had tried to go through the day, but then it would pounce on him, pulling him into a dark little hole, trapping him inside, forcing him to go back to that day oh-so long ago.
Soon tears would have left stains down his cheeks, his skin red from his constant scratching, his face covered in a cold sweat, his throat hoarse and dry from his screams and wails. No one had came to check on him. No one bothered to even come and check on him.
It was just another episode of the isolated man who lived next door.
He didn't mind that, though. He didn't want anybody to see him in such a state. The thing that bothered him, though, was the fact that it came back in the day. It only had done that around the time period of the making of said memory, and back then, he was able to bottle it up. But, years later...?
How was he even able to remember?
He thought back to all his subscribers on Youtube. It hurt him how he was only able to check on them but not make any videos to them. He would start recording, and it would be fine, until it stabbed him in the back of his mind, and editing his episode out would tear apart a majour chunk of the video. It just wasn't submittable, then. He had thought he was ready at one point, but each time it would get him and send him crawling back to give up and delete the video before he could submit it.
Now, dark circles had formed under his eyes, and his skin tone had taken a paler colour. He appeared to be sick, but it was only mentally. Or perhaps it was physically as well? He was only getting a few hours of sleep each night. It would come back, that memory...
He made his way to his window. He found himself looking out it alot, lately. Again, it was raining. Again, he wanted to go outside. But he didn't want to drive. He just wanted to walk around in it. Or perhaps just stand out there, letting it all fall around his shoulders.
He wasn't well enough for that, though. He was way too weak- it was a burden just to make himself something to eat. If he stood out in the rain, with his eyes closed and his pose pointed up to the sky...
How long would he last?
"Hey. Wake up, you."
The sleeping Swede didn't stir. A long time ago did the flight attendant come along and take his empty cup from him, and not so long after that did he come back with a blanket to cover the man. Now, it was the next day, and they had landed. Most of the passengers had left, but Felix was still peacefully asleep, still in the midst of his dreams. The young male had tried everything he was allowed to do by the rules, which was basically rip the blanket from him and tap his shoulder, but it seemed that he was a heavy sleeper, and such was not working.
He groaned and rolled his eyes, moving away to let a passenger pass. He went back to him a second later, snuck a glance around him, before repeatedly poking his cheek.
"Hey, hey, you, come on, wake up already."
No budge. He hung his head in disbelief.
"Really now...?" he huffed out, placing his hands on his hips and staring down at the other with a bewildered look. Felix made an undefined noise in his sleep, turning over slightly, and the attendant smacked his forehead. He wanted to give up, but then he would feel bad later.
The sound of plastic clattering to his left made him turn his head. Another attendant, a girl with short pixie-cut black hair, was collecting dishes and placing them on her cart. He smiled.
The girl looked up at him with curious blue eyes.
"You wouldn't have your air horn on you at the moment, by any chance, would you...?"
The sound of a loud screech followed by a "WAKE UP! THE PLANE'S GOING TO CRASH!" had startled Felix from his pleasant dream and left him panting. He turned his head at unkept snickering, and he saw the flight attendant from before. He glared at him, and the younger male backed off, holding his hands up in defense.
"Is that... an air horn?" he muttered sleepily, a harsh tone creeping in his voice. The attendant looked over at his other hand, which held a small red and white air horn, and he quickly tossed it away. It landed into another attendant's hands, which she fumbled over to catch. Felix rolled his eyes before looking around the plane. No one was on board. He stared out the window. "Where is everyone?" he murmured. He then glared back at the younger male, who flinched. "Why the hell did you wake me up like that!? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Hey, calm down, you. You didn't wake up the first time to the air horn, so I had to be drastic. You know, I risked my neck just now so you wouldn't have to wake up back in Sweden! Be glad!" he hissed, glaring back at the Swede. Felix backed down. No point in arguing with the man.
"How... long were you trying to wake me?" he asked warily.
"About ten minutes."
"Shit, sorry," he muttered pathetically. He stood and stretched, most of his bones popping. The flight attendant shivered.
"I would hurry off. The plane is about to pick up the next load," he warned. Felix nodded and quickly went to retrieve his bags.
"Thanks!" he called out behind him, waving at the two flight attendants. They waved back, and the female returned back to her job.
The male attendant, who was about to disappear behind a curtain, stopped and turned to look at the female.
"His accent seemed kind of familiar, didn't it?" she giggled before putting the last dish on the cart. He thought about it for a moment.
"...Perhaps," he said, before disappearing from her sight.
It was raining. Hard. Luckily, they were selling umbrellas up by the front desk, and he managed to snag one before they were all gone. Now he was standing under it, looking out at the busy streets with his suitcases in hand. The air... smelt so nice.
But it was freesing. It was so cold, he wished he had packed a coat. He didn't expect it to be this cold. Of course, it was autumn, the time when the cold chill would roll in, but still. It seemed like winter.
He sighed. Maybe he should hail a cab? Or maybe get a rental car. He needed to get a place to stay before doing anything.
Before searching for him.
With a sigh, he pulled out his phone. He would keep his promise. He dialed Marzia.
"Marzi! How you doin'?" he said cheerfully into the phone. He heard the other giggle from the other side of the phone. Hearing her voice made him smile.
"Felix! How was your flight?" she asked, her voice exposing her obvious happiness. Felix laughed and told her as he looked across the road. There was an internet cafe still open. He grabbed his things and hurried across.
"Welcome!" an old man behind a counter called as he walked in. He waved to them, which made the elder smile, and took a seat.
"So, where exactly are you going, Feli?" she asked as a young woman came by and handed him a menu. He smiled at her and nodded his thanks before setting the menu down and pulling out his laptop.
"I'm sorry, what was that, Marzia?" he asked as he opened up his laptop and started it.
"I said where are you planning to go in Florida?"
He laughed and smiled. "I'm going to-"
It hit him right in the face. Like a bullet going from one ear and right out the other.
He had no idea where Cry lived.